Define Love
by The Shadow Goddess
Summary: A week after The Battle of Hogwarts and the death eaters had won. Voldemort has just submitted himself as the King of the magic world. Although he still does not understand what love is, or that he is capable of it. He loves Bellatrix, but he doesn't realize it. As she becomes pregnant with his baby, he begins to understand just how love feels and how important it is to love.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

Bellatrix Lestrange wandered aimlessly in the corridor of the Malfoy manor. The internal debate she had nagging at her brain was driving her insane. _Would it be stupid to tell him? Would he be mad at me? Would he kill it? _These were all thoughts that ran through her brain only to be pushed away by Bella's stubbornness. Of course he would not be mad, she told herself. He would never be such a hypocrite as to blame her for something he laid equal claim on.

She pushed all thoughts away but those of tonight's meeting. Bellatrix glanced mindlessly at a wall clock that hung just left of her sight. It was 9:03. The meeting had begun three minutes ago! Bella hussled through the corridors of the Malfoy's large estate. She quickly made her way downstairs and through the doors of the dining room, where all but one chair was filled, the one to Voldemort's left. Voldemort sat at the head of the table as usual. Everyone stared as she entered, including The Dark Lord, who seemed both curious and a bit amused. She did not meet his eye, or anyone else's. She stumbled into the seat, being extra careful not to make physical contact with Voldemort as she did.

Greyback continued what he was saying. Voldemort leaned over so his mouth was at Bella's ear.

"You're late," he whispered, smirking. Bellatrix shrugged and stared at the table. The Dark Lord leaned back and frowned. He saw her sad smile and wanted to comfort her. He reached for her hand under the table but she placed it on the table at the same moment. To him it looked as if she had not noticed his advance and so he nudged her foot with his. After a few seconds, she returned the gesture but did not look up at him.

When the meeting was over and everyone except her and The Dark Lord had shuffled out of the room, she turned to face him. They were both still sitting as before, and Voldemort now reached up for Bella's hand. She cringed away.

"What?" his voice was gentle and worried, but with it came impatience.

"I have to tell you something," she whispered, her voice breaking. She hesitated. "Can we go somewhere more private?"

"Of course," he said, taking her hand and leading her out of the dining room. They made their way upstairs to Voldemort's bedroom. When they went inside, Voldemort set Bella down on the edge of the bed and then went to lock the door. He sat back down next to her and took her hand.

"I'm pregnant," the words popped out without any hesitation.

"Oh," was all Voldemort could choke out. This shocked him, but in a good way. He felt himself get excited. He took a deep breath. "That's great news."

"It is?" Bellatrix sounded surprised, but at the same time relieved. She let out a sigh she didn't know she held.

"Isn't it?" he asked, taking his hand from her grasp so he could put it protectively around her waist. His other hand he placed gently on her belly, rubbing it in circles. "You're always talking about having a child. I thought you wanted this?"

"I do, my lord," she said without hesitation. "I just didn't realize you agreed. I thought you would get mad."

"Mad at you?" she nodded. "How could I be mad at you for becoming pregnant with _my_ child?" The Dark Lord paused. "It is mine, right? I am the father?"

"Of course, my lord," Bella said, smiling. "I haven't had sex with Rodolphus since before we were in Askaban."

"Really?" Bellatrix nodded.

"What should I do about my husband?" Bella asked. The Dark Lord wrapped both arms around her and pulled her into his lap and the two shuffled to the back of the bed to lie down together. They didn't do this very often. Usually they just have sex, and then sleep afterward, but they do not show much actual affection toward each other, other than sexual attraction and Bella's obsession with her master.

"I will take care of him personally," Voldemort said, now feeling very protective and responsible toward his lover and their baby. Bella nuzzled into his chest. He pressed her close to him, not too hard as he did not want to harm his child. They lay there for a while without speaking. "Bella," The Dark Lord said, breaking the silence after a few minutes. "You still awake?"

"Yes, my lord," she said quietly.

"When did you realize you were pregnant?"

"Yesterday," she said. "When I realized that I was now three weeks late. Also I was craving a lot of food."

"Oh," The Dark Lord stated simply.

"Why'd you ask?"

"Just curious," The Dark Lord said. Bellatrix crawled over so the two were face to face. She pressed her forehead to his and gazed into his crimson eyes.

"What?" she pressed on. The tips of their noses touched too.

"I just don't know much about this topic," Voldemort said, his tone almost sounded shy. "But I want to be there for you during this pregnancy and I don't know how to help." He sounded so sweet, Bella loved him. She had said it a few times but it always made her uncomfortable because he never says the same thing back.

She tilts her head to kiss him on the lips. He kisses her back. It is a simple kiss. A slow, long kiss that may not be rough and desperate but still makes them both feel great. After about a minute, Bella pulls away. She cups her hand around his cheek and kisses his nose once more.

"I love you so much," Bella says before lowering herself again so her face is at the level of his upper chest, right below his collar bone. She closes her eyes and tries to sleep. Right before she doses off, she feels the pressure of his lips kissing her hair. Although he does not say anything, she knows he does.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Bellatrix awoke to find her face buried in her lord's chest, just like dozens of times before. . .

"Good morning," The Dark Lord said, stroking his fingers through her hair. He helped Bellatrix sit up and he leaned back on the headboard, her in his lap. "Sleep well?" he asked, while trying to disentangle his hand from her now-knotted hair.

"Fine," she said, settling her back against his chest and taking his arms to wrap them around her waist. "How was your night, my lord?"

"I've had better nights," he said with a yawn. Bella twisted her head around so she was looking into the eyes of her master/lover. She cupped his face in her hands and he said, before she could ask, "I hadn't gotten very much sleep."

"Why," Bellatrix asked, concerned. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine. I was just thinking a lot."

"What about?" she asked, scooting out of his lap so she could turn to look him in the eye without having to crane her neck. He put his arm back around her.

"Us," he said with a smile. "I was thinking about the three of us." Bella grinned.

"I can't believe you're already thinking of us as three people," she laughed. He shrugged.

"Aren't you?" The Dark Lord pressed.

"I guess," she said, looking down. "I am just surprised that you are."

"Why?" he asked, reaching to stroke her hair.

"Because you have never acted so caring and concerned before," she muttered. "It's kinda weird." Voldemort stiffened. Bellatrix turned to meet his eyes again. To her, his eyes looked simply tired, yet she could not see any display of emotion. She concentrated for anger, sadness, regret . . .

Nothing.

"I bet your hungry," he said, a grin back on his face, yet she didn't trust the amount of truth in that smile, for his eyes had not lit up like the rest of him. He got up and stretched, then pulled her up so she was standing in his arms. She leaned her head into his shoulder as he put his arm around his waist and led her out of the room.

There was really no need for either of them to change, as they had both gone to bed in day clothes, and Bella's hair, although messy, wasn't much different than usual. As the two walked along the corridor, clutching on to each other, The Dark Lord finally replied to her previous comment.

"You know I care, right Bella?" Voldemort asked, his arm still tightly around her, not slowing his pace as he continued his thought. "I care about you, and our child. I am a bit hurt that you were not aware of this, although I know that I don't show much of any caring feeling toward you or any of the other, but I do hope you realize how I care. I am the one that caused you to become pregnant simply because of my lack of loving. But I do L – care very much about you." He looked back at her and smiled, then turned back and kept at his steady pace, his arm still tenderly around her.

A million thoughts blurred through Bella's head. _Did he almost use the L-word on her? To describe _his_ feelings toward _her?

Before Bella knew what she was thinking – or maybe she did, and simply decided she did not care – Bella tugged him back so he was facing her, smiling, and she leaned forward to connect her lips to his. Although they had kissed a bit last night, it wasn't the way they normally held each other. And nor was this, Bellatrix realized, as The Dark Lord was holding her to his body as if she were a piece of delicate glass that could break so quickly under a firm hand. Normally, when they were in bed together, it was rough, him not concerned with her limit of cracking. Not that she was very delicate. She did in fact, enjoy playing rough, but this was so much better.

The Dark Lord had his arms curled firmly around her waist, hers winding themselves around his neck. Bella loved the feel of his body against hers, even if his was slightly artificial and cold. It wasn't that he did not radiate heat, like only some do, but that this body was so snake-like and thin, unlike how it had been before . . . before the damned Potter boy screwed it up. But Bella did not let her anger consume her, not now. They had killed him and his friends.

And now here Bella was, in the upstairs hallway of Malfoy Manor, pushed up against a wall as she kissed the man she loved. She couldn't possibly be happier. It was like her favorite dream that she always woke up crying about because it wasn't real. Because he didn't love her. He was just her master and she needed to get over it, but neither of them wanted her too. He enjoyed having a servant who would always do anything for him. They both knew, even in this moment, that, had he told her too, she would give her life up for him. But he didn't want that. He never did. He always needed her, whether as a fighter in his army or a lover, he needed her alive. Now he definitely did, more than ever, and whether his care for her had been triggered by the news of the baby, or . . . something else, it was clear to them both now that he did.

These thoughts were running through her brain just as a high-pitched shriek sounded from her left. Bella opened her eyes, Voldemort slowing the kiss, to see Alecto Carrow standing there, her mouth slightly open as she stared in awe at Bellatrix making out with The Dark Lord. Bella quickly pulled back, to realize dumbly that her back was already pressed against a wall, and that there was no chance of getting Voldemort's hands away from her waist. Not that she wanted that of course, so she didn't strain to get out of his grip. Although his face was now red with anger and just his scarlet eyes now even more lit up, made Alecto's gape turn into a whimper and her lip quivered. As a death eater, she was used to The Dark Lord's fury, but this was different.

"Well?" he demanded. "Why are you just standing there? You should be downstairs, the morning meeting is about to begin. Go!" Alecto stumbled off, but she had to pass him to get downstairs, and when she did so, Voldemort grabbed her forearm in a tight grip and whispered through clenched teeth, "And not a word to the others."

Once she was out of earshot, The Dark Lord turned back to Bellatrix with a smirk, which made her smile. He adored the way she smiled, it made him smile too. Pretty soon they were both laughing and embracing once again. He felt somewhat secure with her in his arms. The two people he cared about were in his arms, and that was all that mattered then. His mind was thinking this too, for the first time. It had never occurred to him how protective he was, how much he needed her, though she had known her own need for him.

_Strange,_ Voldemort thought. Bella moved slightly in his arms, so her arms were around his neck and they were looking into each other's eyes.

_I love you,_ Bella mouthed, so he would see but they would not be overheard. He grinned, then leaned down and pressed his lips to hers. It wasn't a fast, hungry, passionate kiss, but a slow, affectionate kiss where lips simply touched, but did not move once in place. She hugged him once more when it finished, then separated herself from him and simply took his hand as they made their way to the morning meeting.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

Bellatrix walked into the dining/meeting room to see that nearly everyone was there, except for a few that had not stayed at the manor overnight, and Voldemort, who she had agreed to sit down 60 seconds before so no one would think anything. There were already a lot of rumors about the two of them; most had been true for years. Narcissa and Draco were also not here yet, it seemed, for whatever reason Bella did not know.

But, by the looks of the faces of those sitting down, Bella knew Alecto had spilled. She could only imagine what The Dark Lord would do to her now. Alecto had a nervous look in her eye when she saw Bellatrix walk in without Voldemort. That just made it so much worse for her, knowing that he wasn't going to tell, or at least hadn't planned on it.

Bellatrix averted her eyes quickly from the dozens of other ones trying to meet hers as she walked to her seat next to The Dark Lord's and sat down. The house elves had already made breakfast, although already half of it had perished, probably most in the stomach of Greyback. Bella pretended not to notice as she got filled her plate up that the man she had slept in the arms of last night had just entered. Since it was just Breakfast and not a formal dinner, nobody bothered to stand in respect, although all conversation died and some who met his eyes nodded in acknowledgment and respect. As Bellatrix sat on the side of the table where the door is, she had a good excuse not to notice, although she did, she did not want to draw attention. Which of course, this action greatly turned on her given she was the only death eater not to acknowledge him and so, he apparently felt the need to slow as he walked passed her and run his fingers over her shoulders, rubbing her back before sitting down at the head of the table. Although the other death eaters kind of expected him to start the actual meeting by saying something, he never took his eyes or his mind off his beautiful Bella.

The conversations started again in only whispers, and did not stray from the topic of this possible affair. Things were awkward for the next five minutes or so. Bella was just so innocently eating breakfast, well, I wouldn't say innocently, since she seemed to engulf the other half of the table. Voldemort didn't seem to care about anything anymore. And everyone else was a witness who couldn't stop the chatter about it. After these five minutes were up, Voldemort broke the tension.

"You know I can here you," it was a statement, not a question. The chatter came to a stop as they listened to him. "Oh and Alecto? Expect your punishment to be sometime within the next week. I don't care to bother with your disobedience first thing. There are more important things to be done around here."

Bellatrix chuckled silently at this, although everyone else seemed to get quite nervous. Alecto whimpered a little. The next minute passed in silence, with no whispering what-so-ever. No one got up; although it was clear they wanted to.

Bella finished eventually, and when she did, she reached for Voldemort's hand under the table and squeezed it, looking him also in the eye. She opened his fist and pressed her thumb four times into his palm, which was a signal that she wanted to go. They had invented the 'thumb signals' for boring meetings. One thumb press meant yes, two meant no, three meant are you okay, and five meant I love you, which so far Voldemort had never signaled.

The Dark Lord got the message and looked back at the other Death Eaters, who had been watching them both intently. Bella could swear she saw Voldemort blush, if just for a moment. But whether he did or not, he had quickly waved it away and hid it so they could not see.

"Nothing," he said to no one with a smug expression on his face. "You all are so quiet this morning. Only a minute ago, you were all in quite a chatter of excitement." Lord Voldemort stood, releasing Bella's hand before the others could notice. The death eaters – including Bellatrix – stood with him in respect. "Well," he continued. "It seems that you all are not interested in continuing this gathering, not to mention we haven't said anything so far. Anyone who is bored now can leave; in fact I think I will myself." With that he was off, his robes fluttering behind him.

He did not stop before leaving the meeting room, although he did slow a bit by Bellatrix so he could, through unmoving lips, whisper, "Courtyard".

She got the message, and thankfully no other had caught that, as the seat to the left of Bellatrix, which would have been Rodolphus' though he was on a mission, was untaken. Bella knew how to leave unsuspiciously, as she had with The Dark Lord many times before. For then, she simply sat back in her chair and pretended she was not done with her breakfast. Within the next minute or two, four people had left, the others still whispering on the new possible lovers to gossip on.

Bella eventually pretended these people were annoying her, as she had made it clear after listening in to them and then letting out a distressed breathe before storming out. She did not need to draw further attention once she departed the room, so she walked at an even pace to the front door, leading to the magnificently large courtyard of Malfoy Manor.

As the season was now between Spring and Summer for the English countryside, it was a bright day though with a little rain shower. That did not change how dark the manor looked, there being no flowers or green grass in the courtyard. If you traveled about half a mile in any direction from the edge of the property you would find these things, but certainly not in a house run by death eaters.

Bella walked silently through the courtyard, looking for any sign of her lord. She eventually spotted him just right of the front gate at the edge of the property. He was leaning against a wall covered in dead twigs and greyish-brown vines. He was looking away from her and had not noticed her moving near him. Bellatrix noticed that he had changed out of his long black cloak into simple jeans and a flannel shirt that wasn't buttoned up, revealing a whiteundershirtShe stopped ten paces behind him, admiring the rain water and the sunlight cascaded down his face. It made him look young again, put the color back into him, although he was pale in his previous body too. She missed that body. Not in a sexual way, just the way he smiled at her, and his deep brown eyes. She loved his hands, before they turned skeletal and bony. Back when his hands were soft and delicate. She loved his complexion before, nearly the color of snow, but burning when he touched her. She missed that person, although she loved this one too, perhaps not as much though, since he was cold to the touch and his lips cracked when he smiled. Since his beautiful chocolate-hair was replaced with a bare skull with visible veins. Since his nose was barely there. Since his eyes went permanently bloodshot.

He noticed her staring after a minute and turned with a smile. The sun and rain seemed to bring his lips color again too. For a moment she saw the boy Tom, although she was not acquainted with him when that was still his name, what he was called. She had never called him anything other than 'my lord' and she probably never would.

Lord Voldemort thought Bella looked beautiful too in the sun and rain. She looked to him like a golden goddess with raindrops in her hair. Though she was very pale also, the light seemed to reflect off of her skin in all directions, dancing in pools around her.

Voldemort knocked himself out of those thoughts of Bella as he walked the rest of the way to her. Bellatrix reached for his arms and leaned up to kiss him, but he pulled back.

"Not yet," Voldemort said. "I want to take you somewhere, but first you need to change. I brought you clothes." With that, he walked back and picked up a black backpack that was behind one of the dead bushes. He knelt down, unzipped it, and took out something for Bella to where.

"Did you plan this, whatever it is?" Bella asked, her brow furrowing in a way Voldemort thought was adorable.

"Just over breakfast," he answered with a grin, handing her a silver dress and a pair of silver lacey ballet flats.

"And you were able to pack that bag, get dressed yourself, and still have time to just stand in the rain waiting for me to leave the meeting room in just the two minutes that it took me?" she asked with curiosity as she took hold of the clothes. He shrugged.

"I guess so," he said after shrugging.

Bellatrix laughed a little at that. "Okay then, so I get changed now?"

"Yes. I'll just, um . . ." Voldemort pulled out his wand and flicked it in her direction. And just like that, Bellatrix stood in the ballet flats and simple silver dress that was held up by spaghetti straps. It was tight above the waist, but flared out around the hips and went down to just below her ass. The Dark Lord personally thought she looked very sexy in this dress, which was why he grabbed it when packing the duffle bag. He liked it because of how small the waist part was, so that her could see the curve of her breasts. Also it was one of the shortest dresses she had. All in all, it was the perfect make-out dress. Not that he would plan to have sex with her during the next nine months, not with another person inside her stomach.

He held out a hand for her to take as he shouldered the backpack, she stepped closer to him and laced her fingers through his, leaning up to peck his cheek with her lips once before they walked out. By the time the front gate was closed behind them, Voldemort had his arm around Bella's shoulders, hers around his waist as she leaned her head into his chest.

They walked the whole way, to whatever place it was The Dark Lord wished to show her, even when they could have apparated, as they wanted to enjoy the moment.


End file.
